So there’s a reason that they are called Baby Steps. That’s because you have to crawl before you walk, then you take a few steps, learn how to balance, fall down a few times, and slowly but surely become steadier on your feet. Eventually you’re running, and you can’t even remember the time that you couldn’t walk. Until you fall on your face…but that’s another blog.
Baby steps. That’s what I’m taking in all areas of change in my life. I’m learning to make decisions slowly, thoughtfully, taking in all of the risks and rewards before I leap. Which is great, because I tend to be a jumper. This too has had both consequence and reward. I’ve learned so many great things, made great friendships, traveled to places I never would have gone, simply because I jumped. I’ve also ruined friendships, hurt people, challenged my career, and devastated my own psyche because I jumped. Double edged sword much?
Relationships should be built with baby steps as well…although many times they are not. Many times they are built without forethought, without regard to consequence, simply built based on feelings of intrigue, lust, and passion. And while intrigue, lust, and passion are wonderful in their brief firework of feelings, they are exactly that. Brief.
Eventually, all relationships come to a place where you will find things distasteful about your partner. Perhaps she does not close the door when she uses the restroom. Perhaps he is not as thoughtful as you once thought him to be. Perhaps she is too caught up in what he is doing and not enough in what she is doing. Perhaps he is too caught up in his work to realize that he is leaving her behind, or so she feels. It could be something as simple as the way that they do or don’t clean the kitchen. Seriously guys…wipe the damn counter off!!
And so, baby steps. From the beginning…learn about your partner. Ask questions, even if you feel like you already know what the answer will be. Don’t move in so quickly….stumble a bit before you decide to try to run. Getting pregnant before you’ve met their family…well, you’re just asking for trouble. Trust me on this one y’all.
Don’t get me wrong, epic relationships have been built on less than solid foundations, but look how Romeo and Juliet ended up. The best relationships, like your grandparents, or those little old couples who are holding hands at the park, were built over years…decades even, not weeks or months.
Passion is wonderful, amazing, astounding, and no…there’s nothing like that first time feeling. But to able to create a life with someone, that’s the real fortune. To have both, well, it happens, although it is rare. And when you have it, hold it, with gratitude, and remember that you have the unicorn. And maybe shut the door when you pee.